I’m noticing that I have let myself get bogged down by the difficulty of teaching writing. There are so many people out there who are excited about trying new things, while I feel stuck.
My first reaction to new ideas is resistance. That’s usually how I feel at this time of year. It feels close to the end, but not that close. I’m a little tired, and my kids are a lot tired. The weather is nice, and it feels hard to sit in a classroom full of sweaty middle schoolers.
It feels even harder to double down on writing instruction. The allure of an extra party or a few more minutes outside is hard to resist.
I’m noticing that as I write this, I needed to use repetition to help me get my ideas flowing. I needed to write disjointed paragraphs and skip around and double back, and I wish my kids could see more of that process so that they would feel more comfortable writing in all directions instead of just linearly. I wish I knew how to teach them with more fluidity, even though I feel a little paralyzed by the need to meet the needs of 28 students at once.
But, while I’m feeling down on myself for my pessimism, I see the hope for the positive.
These are always the first feelings of change for me. The feelings of seeking out new ideas, even if I don’t want to admit that they might work at first. The desire to avoid change, but the stubbornness to fight that desire and try something crazy anyway. The acceptance that there is a whole lot I don’t know, and the relief in realizing that there are people who have the ideas when I’m ready to find them.
May feels late in the year, but I’m also noticing that it’s not too late for something new.
Alexis Teevens is a 7th grade English and social studies teacher in East Boston, MA. She’s about to finish up her 5th year in the classroom, and she feels increasingly humbled and entertained by her kids. She just finished a Master’s in Special Education, so she’s looking forward to having more time next year to explore teaching interests outside of a graduate school program. Alexis is excited to start connecting with more teachers on Twitter (@lexteevens), and maybe after this experience, she’ll pull the trigger and start a blog.
Because YOU are a writer, you will see writing instruction in a different way. That 'fluidity' you write about will appear -- or you will become more comfortable with the disjointedness that teaching writing sometimes is. Either way, your students will benefit and grow. Thanks for writing with us today, Alexis! I'm looking forward to following your writing journey this summer.
ReplyDeleteWonderful and honest writing. I loved it and I think you should share this with your students! Them knowing your struggles can open up so many doors and they could inspire you and get you motivated. I hope you do start a blog, I would love to follow it!
ReplyDeleteYou have done a great job exploring the ambivalence on the last days. I think this would be great to share with your students.
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