It is hard to mark the paper: in some respects it deserves an “F,” and in others, an “A.” But I like the daring visionary element, and I won’t give it less than B+.
I pulled another essay from the pile: What type of teacher do I want to be? I wanted to read it, but I was hesitant to revisit what I may have believed twenty-six years ago. Not the act of a “daring visionary,” is it?
I brought the short stack of essays upstairs to the dining room. The essays sat untouched throughout most of December. Each time I settled in to read, I found new reasons to procrastinate: the dog needs his medicine, the firewood stack looks low, ...I could use a drink.
The ideas surprise me. I had forgotten that I set the goal of being a teacher who got out of the way of his students’ imaginations. In 1991, I wrote:
For the great and creative teachers know what is best for every student is his own freedom so that his imagination can grow in its own way, even if that way, to you or to me, or to policemen, or to churchgoers, seems very bad indeed. I can only hope I am given the freedom teach this way.
In setting goals, I still find little space to be pragmatic. I still reach for the glinting stars. I still have the goal to be the teacher I imagined in 1991. I am still that idealist. And in many ways, I never left the path of this very specific journey. I just forgot how far behind me my path stretches!
I think I stay motivated because that goal of being the teacher who gets out of his students’ way is truly me. It is truly what I stand for.
How often, in education, do we get asked what we believe in? Even though I haven’t been asked “What type of teacher do you want to be?” since I wrote the essay so long ago, I also never let go of the question. In some weird way, encouraging adolescents to fall in love with their imaginations has permeated my teaching soul because that ideal is the best version of me that I can offer. How can I not stay motivated when what I am giving of myself in the classroom is maybe the truest part of my humanity?
And so I wonder, can you remember what idealistic goals you set when you began your career? Are you still on that journey? Please take a turn to be the “daring visionary” and share your goals here or on social media--and tag me! I would love to read and share in your goals.
Brian Kelley is in his twenty-fourth year of teaching middle school. He is happily married in rural Pennsylvania with a menagerie of rescue cats and dogs, but continues to hold firm on not bringing in the chickens, pygmy goats, and pigs that his wife wants. A co-director of the Pennsylvania Writing and Literature Project, Brian can be found on Twitter (@_briank_) or on his website, brianjkelley.org, where he shares his notebooks (and his love of all notebooks).
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The #TeachWrite Twitter Chat Blog is dedicated to providing a space for our community to connect and share their voices about writing and teaching writing. We are looking for guest bloggers for January who would like to blog on topics related to our January theme -- GOALS. Educators and writers of all levels are invited to join us in this space. More information can be found here.
You know how it is when you get a message from the universe, it comes around 3 times. This one keeps coming to me. Maybe it's a new year thing, but I have been exploring my beliefs and wondering if I really truly stand up for them. Soul searching, I suppose. But am I brave enough to stand up for what I believe? This is the year to find out.
ReplyDelete"How can I not stay motivated when what I am giving of myself in the classroom is maybe the truest part of my humanity?" This is beautiful! I see this the same way. I wish I had essays about what I believed 31 years ago, but I hope that it is fairly close to how I teach today. Trying to get out of their way, trusting the process, not letting the testing industrial complex change my vision for my students... all goals for today and the next segment!
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