Self-criticism is silencing. You silence your thoughts, your emotions, your pride, your bravery and eventually your voice. This can all change by adapting the way you think about mistakes.
As a left-handed elementary student, just beginning to write, my first memories of writing were not happy ones - and that’s putting it mildly. Writing was physically uncomfortable for me. The spiral of my notebook was always getting in my way because spiral notebooks were made for right-handed people. To make matters worse, every time I moved my hand to write a bit further from the spiral, I wound up getting my hand dirty in the led, marker, pen, whatever my writing utensil of choice was. To avoid the mess, I began writing my sentences a bit further away from the margin as I wrote each new sentence.
Well, one day when I was in the fourth grade a classmate noticed my sentences were slanted and each sentence was getting closer and closer toward the margin on the opposite (wrong) side of the paper. Then, the classmate announced to the entire class that I did not know how to write and began making fun of the fact that I was left-handed. Needless to say, all my worries set in. I now knew that everyone else thought the same way about my writing as I did - that it was less-than and not enough.
This was detrimental to the shy, perfectionist, afraid to make mistakes kind of little girl that I was back then.
But then, Mrs. K jumped in and told me it was okay to make mistakes. She told me that I had everything I needed to fix my writing right in front of me, I just needed to learn how to problem solve with the tools already given to me. She was not wrong.
Mrs. K taught me many things, but the simplest of them all was to turn my paper at an angle while I was writing and slow down. Magically, all the pesky annoyances I previously lived through, were gone. So simple, yet life changing!
25 years later I am now an elementary teacher myself. As Mrs. K did for me, I do my best to encourage my students to think outside of the box and to never be afraid of failing because failure just shows you are working toward something phenomenal.
I often hold the picture of my first-grade self in my wallet as a reminder of the scared little girl who could not write, but her entire life was impacted by the grace of a teacher. I hope you can join me in taking a little time to celebrate not only the imperfections of your students but the imperfections that are within you!
Lyndsey is an educator, mentor, and blogger from Washington, D.C. She has a master’s in Educational Leadership from Concordia University and is currently pursuing her Ph.D. She currently teaches elementary school, but also mentors high school girls in underprivileged communities. You can follow Lyndsey on Twitter @Lyndsey_WE and via her blog, learningwithlyndsey.com
You've nailed it! Fear of imperfection paralyzes so many writers -- not just students. I talk with students about this A LOT. They'll write a first paragraph or chapter and polish it over and over ... but they often can't move on because nothing else is as shiny as that first perfect chapter. With older students, we read Anne Lamott's Shitty First Drafts and talk about how it's more important to get ALL the words down before any polishing begins. It's allowed many of my students to break through and get to a point where they can finish stories/books.
ReplyDeleteThat moment when Mrs. K came over and helped you...I was literally tearing up. You brought me right to that moment. The power of support in vulnerable times is so important. We celebrate messiness in my middle school classroom. I celebrate your story and Mrs. K today!
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