Keeping My Promises by Crystal Kelley

Maintaining writing momentum implies that one has started.  Getting started is one of the hardest parts for me. Once I begin a writing project, momentum carries me naturally. This movement,  this river current, has its obstacles but keeps a flow. Showing up for the page every day is like feeding birds: the birds will be ready if you consistently arrive. It isn’t easy. This is especially difficult when you are beginning fresh, without a particular direction.

Each year, our writer’s workshop strengthens in the classroom: opportunities to write for authentic audiences, more time to explore ourselves as writers, and stronger choices in writing endeavors. Each year, I work to model more of my own writing with whatever it is students are working on so that I can travel with them on the journey. Each year, it is vividly evident that in doing so, students are genuinely engaged in themselves as writers.

But, I miss the page.

I miss playing in my notebook: the words, surprising gems, randomness, and meanderings without direction that sometimes take on the form of poems.  I miss the raw creativity that leads down one path only to take another and finds its own current. I miss the momentum that is born of this arriving each day to the page.

Someone told me something at lunch today that sparked my thinking.  She said we keep our word with friends and honor our time with those we care about, but we tend to flake out on ourselves when it comes to self-care. I realized that I’ve flaked out on my promises too often this year as a writer. The page silently nudges me most days, sometimes it screams for my attention, at moments least expected and untimely.  As a mom and teacher, I struggle in taking time for me--the writer, the poet.

This year, I will strive to be as forgiving with myself as the page is with me. I will say yes to writing retreats with other teacher-writers; the energy it ignites is incomparable. I will create time for myself the writer, the poet, which will enrich other facets of my writing. This year, we will play in our notebooks more so that students can invent their own energy for writing. This year, I will feed the birds.



Crystal Kelley is from Albuquerque, NM, taught there, in Syracuse, New York, and now in San Marcos, Texas.  She holds an MAT from SUNY at Empire State, and currently teaches high school English and AVID.  As a teacher consultant with the Central Texas Writing Project at Texas State University, Crystal works to support new teachers in their writing endeavors. When she is not doing teacherly things, she is playing outdoors with her three kids, squeezing in time to write, and cooking with her husband. Connect with Crystal @cryskelley9 on Twitter and student writing at www.mrskelley9.edublogs.org.